Number
10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at
which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see
him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day.
Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't
bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like
a Slinky-not really good for anything, but you still
can't help but smile when you shove them down the
stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying
in hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It
pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and
a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world
weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac
to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do
today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
- - - and as someone recently said to me:
"Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last long."
