1.
Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more
about your foe
than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.
Grantland Rice
2.
Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just
how childlike golf
players become is proven by their frequent inability to
count past five.
John Updike
3.
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a
place the world is
when one is playing golf.
Robert Lynd
4.
If profanity had any influence on the flight of the ball,
the game of golf
would be played far better than it is.
Horace G. Hutchinson
5.
They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf
is more complicated than that.
Gardner Dickinson
6.
If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as
poorly as they do a
golf club, they'd starve
to death.
Sam Snead
7.
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous
idleness.
William Wordsworth
8.
If you drink, don't
drive. Don't even
putt.
Dean Martin
9.
If you are going to throw a club, it is important
to throw it ahead
of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste
energy
going back to pick it up.
Tommy Bolt
10.
Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels
personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one.
Bishop Sheen
11.
I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes,
they'd come up sliced.
Arnold Palmer
12.
My handicap? Woods
and irons.
Chris Codiroli
13.
The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would
put a flag stick
on top.
Pete Dye
14.
I'm hitting the
woods just great, but having a terrible
time getting out
of them!
Buddy Hackett
15.
The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf.
Billy Graham
16.
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up
the wrong golf
ball.
Jack Lemmon
17.
Its good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf
balls while they are
still rolling.
Mark Twain
18.
Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
Harry Vardon
19.
Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good
at either of them.
Raymond Willis
20.
May the ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters
or small round
sandy regions.
Ben Hogan
21.
If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's
a hook. If I hit
it straight, it's a miracle.
All Us Hackers
22.
The difference in golf and government is that in
golf you can't
improve your lie.
George Deukmejian
AND FINALLY................
23.
Remember golf is a game invented by the same people who
think music comes
out of a bagpipe.
Tyrone Shue
